My Chemical Romance

Sleep - when not being used as a verb - can often be used as a noun. Being a greedy little human, I try to get as much of this noun as possible. This endeavour is becoming increasingly hard nowadays. In the evenings, you're either working late, in the gym, down the pub, or doing all the domestic things that you haven't had a chance to do (such as late night shopping at Rewe or the Penny - 10 O'Clock shopping!). Looking over my average day, I used to wonder exactly how I managed to maintain any kind of chemical balance in my body. I don't eat particularly healthily, exercise happens in bursts - three times a week, the pub is all about the alcohol and copious second-hand nicotine (damn you and your lax laws Germany), and I spend my day at work downing cups of coffee to cover the lack of sleep I get.

I've learned to stop worrying about it now, and just to embrace the dream of better living through chemistry. To that end, I ordered a massive pack of Penguin mints. My trips on the bus in the mornings usually are pretty short - or at the very least they feel short as I fall asleep when I get on the bus, and then wake up at work. I tried my first bus trip this morning with the caffeine mints, and the mints work absolute wonders. I can now cut out coffee as a drink and go back to tea, since coffee was only really a drug delivery mechanism for me.

This whole practical usage of chemicals thing got me thinking about which other chemicals I could use to improve my health. The benefits, of course, need to outweigh the detrimental effects to my health (both long and short term), but I'm sure there's a whole world of chemical hacks you can make to get the best performance out of your body. In that spirit, I happened to come across this quote from bash:

<PhoenixBourne> Ok, so a friend of mine had an AWESOME idea at school <PhoenixBourne> You know rohyphonol? (whatever the spelling is) <linforcer> Is he gontna make a trebuchet <linforcer> no <PhoenixBourne> You know date rape drugs? <linforcer> Sure <PhoenixBourne> Right, rhyphonol is one of these. It knocks you asleep after an hour or two. <PhoenixBourne> I should also mention, a side affect of rhyphonol is amnesia of events whilst under influence of the drug. <PhoenixBourne> Now, a friend of mine had this idea: 1) Prepare ingredients 2) Take rhyphonol 3) Bake cake 4) Fall asleep 5) ?????? 6) Wake up 7) CAKE?! CAKE! Where did this come from?! <linforcer> SURPRISE CAKE!!!!!!

In the comment section I'll add any new ideas I have for practical usages for controlled substances as I come up with them, with an aim to have a list of 20(ish) innovative drug hacks. I welcome any suggestions on the comments.

1 comment

Anonymous *

1) Take 3 year's worth of Rohypnol
2) Do PhD
3) Wake up. Surprise PhD!

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